Fear of Failing
Have you ever thought about a certain project you'd like to embark on? Like making a book or starting a business or even just learning how to draw your travels. After feeling giddy about your bright idea, you'd then start to make a very long list in your head on how all of this ends up in epic disaster. And once failure has eaten the best of you, from "I don't know where to start" to "That will just take too much of my time," you'd then decide on setting the project aside and then carrying on with your life - what a way to end such a promising story.
Fear will always be part of anyone who tries to create or start anything. The more meaningful the endeavour is, the more original the idea is - fear will be in direct relation. It will be in the form of self doubt, waiting for the perfect time or opportunity, or of people actually throwing out on you some careless whispers that will burst any form of confidence that you'd gathered for so long.
How many creative efforts had been killed before they have even been tried or tested? Probably far too many.
Truly, what they say about "You'll never know if you don't try" is applicable wisdom in this case. You'll just have to push yourself and try the boundaries. You will have to fail and then learn from the mistakes. That is when you will slowly tweak things to get the best version of the project, and even of yourself.
Or if you're lucky, you won't fail and strike it big the first time. But where's the thrill in that? There's no such thing as an overnight success. You know this by now. No one plays the violin the first time and makes a perfect solo. Same as in making films, or painting or writing or even starting a business. There has to be some effort put into learning - hours and hours spent in gnawing frustration or tiresome bickering during a practice session.
So you will just have to start. Let the haters hate. Let the doubters doubt. Let them pull their hair. You know that their doing so is a total waste of their time and for you to agree on whatever they are saying is a total waste of your time and creative intelligence.
And maybe no one cares about your failures as much as you do. People won't probably come home and talk about your project woes with their wives and kids. They had probably forgotten it by as soon as a new post in their newsfeed comes in. And maybe you should stop putting too much weight on those mistakes. Everyone makes them. And when we say everyone, we mean every single one even the masters, even the people you idolize the most. Yes, even David Bowie. And probably those mistakes, in time and in wisdom, become lovely becase they remind us that ah yes, to err is entirely human.
As they say, the mentor will show up as soon as the student is ready. So if and when you are ready to face fear in the face, find mentors who will give you the inspiration to grow. Find peers who will give you the traction to start and the humor to not take things and yourself too seriously. Make the journey, start with a single step out the door of your self consciousness and allow yourself to create.
Now let me just leave you with a quote here from Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."